ORIGINAL PARAGRAPH
In the time that human beings have been on this planet, we’ve come to alter almost every aspect of our natural lives in some way, by means of science or otherwise. However, there are two major concepts humans have never had the ability to manipulate. The creation of life and the inevitability of death. Sure, we’ve altered something about the creation of life by means of scientific advances. We’ve made it possible for couples to conceive through in vitro fertilization and what not. But humans have never been able to ‘design’ or ‘copy’ the genetic makeup of other humans… that is, until now. This, is the concept of human cloning the ability to make a genetically identical copy of another human and it goes against everything the reproduction of our species or any species, is supposed to be in both a religious and ethical sense. Even non-religious individuals can agree that this ‘power’ if you will, is not one that was ever intended to lie in our hands.
REVISED KINKINBORG PARAGRAPH
Since human beings have been on this planet, they’ve altered almost every aspect of our natural lives, by means of science or otherwise. However, there are two concepts humans haven’t had the ability to manipulate. The creation of life and the inevitability of death. Sure, we’ve altered something about the creation of life with our scientific advances. We’ve made it possible for couples to conceive through in vitro fertilization, for example. But humans have never been able to manufacture the genetic makeup of other humans… that is, until now. This, is the concept of human cloning the ability to make a genetically identical copy of another human and it goes against everything the reproduction of our species or any species, is supposed to be in both a religious and ethical sense. Even non-religious individuals can agree that this ‘power’ if you will, is not one that was ever intended to lie in our hands.
REFLECTION
After reading Klinkinborg’s writings, I took note of the fact he advises more than anything, to keep your sentences short and make every word count. This made me realize that there were quite a bit of useless words and powerless sentences in my paragraph that were failing to serve the purpose of my paper. With this being said, I was able to reduce and reword some sentences to make my paragraph easier to follow and more word efficient.
